A 2020 Holiday Invitation

Today marks the beginning of a season of upheaval for many. Some are dreading this holiday season having lost a loved one to the virus or to another illness or devastation. Some are separated from a loved one currently fighting the virus or another illness or injury. Some are separated from their loved ones while they fight illness or recover from injury. But this is not new. The truth is that every year a holiday is altered and marred with grief or agony or uncertainty for someone, for many someones. Perhaps the real difference this year is that we're all invited to join them on this journey, to experience the separation, the uncertainty, the unfamiliar. We are all invited into grief and mourning with those who mourn. We are invited to creatively celebrate with those who rejoice in births and love and new beginnings even in the midst of all this other. Maybe it feels more like a forced evacuation than an invitation. I hear a lot of complaining about Thanksgiving or Christmas being "canceled." I tell you the truth--no one might ever cook a turkey or wish someone else a "Merry Christmas" ever again in the history of humankind. But that will not cancel giving thanks. That will not erase the birth of a Savior who brings peace and hope. The changing of the traditions we keep surrounding these holidays can never eliminate the spirit or the truth within them. We may grieve the loss of those precious traditions, but we can revel in the memories and we can anticipate the challenge of creativity.

So today, I invite you to embrace the change. Imagine Giving Thanks anew this year--on Zoom or with your immediate family, sending packages or posting your gratitude journal. Look for others who need encouragement and find a way to creatively connect with them from a distance. It can be done. It has been done. How can you add to the beauty?

Today, imagine preparing room for the God the universe to dwell with you--Emmanuel. What a gift. How can you give Jesus to someone this year? How can you welcome Him into your heart, home, community? 

Look for truth in the origin stories of this land, and you will find it. You will find love and hate, peace and war, faithfulness and betrayal. You will find the humanity. And you will find ways to commemorate the truth and pray for change.

Look for truth in the birth story of Jesus, and you will find it. You will find love and hate, peace and war, faithfulness and betrayal. You will find Divinity in the Flesh, the Savior of humanity. And you will find ways to worship Jesus and love each other. 

Don't be afraid of the change. Welcome it with love and humility. 

"Sit with it, April." I sigh to myself. "Let it stir and change you." 

I hope you enjoy these two songs from one of my favorite singer/songwriters Sara Groves. 

Add to the Beauty

We Wait 

Live and Learn

It's only Day Two of the 2019-2020 school year, and I've already had numerous conversations with my children about passing and failing, about dropping out, about college anxieties. I have a sophomore in high school, two middle schoolers, and a 4th grader. How's that for an intense beginning? I've reassured my kids that I'm looking for their hard work, their good attitudes, their compassionate natures, and their desire to learn and grow. I used to think that a successful education meant Straight A's, honor classes and extra-curriculars, and Liberal Arts four-year college begun right after high school graduation (or maybe even during senior year). I've changed my mind. As I anticipate my kids adding to their educations in a variety of ways during and after their required school years, I'm hopeful that they will prove to be life-long learners. I came across this musing that I wrote several years ago after both my mother and my best friend graduated with their under-graduate degrees as adult professional women.  It seems a good time to share it here. No matter where we are, we can learn. Education is a gift, I tell my children. Formal education is definitely that--and a freedom here in the United States. But learning? That's work and initiative. And worth the effort with or without a diploma.

I sat in a freezing cold arena for three hours through unknown speakers and hundreds of students to watch one particular student cross the stage, wearing her black robe and obligatory mortarboard. She walked with grace and beauty and strength. She walked with a distinct combination of pride and humility. She is the non-traditional student. The business administration major who works 50+ hours per week, cares for her home, 8 year old daughter, and husband.
She answers to Nana for nine,
Mom for five,
Sister to three,
Aunt to numerous nieces and nephews,
and Friend to many.
She carries in her the teenager whose  guidance counselor told her she'd never make it in college,
to not even try.
She carries in her 30+ years of experience as a mother, a wife,
a woman who made non-existent ends meet on a regular basis.
She carries in her the employee who worked her way up from the bottom, who learned it well enough to begin teaching others.
This diploma is, frankly, inadequate.
All it states is that she's earned (through tedious night classes in subjects she'd already mastered in the real world) a Bachelor of Science degree in Business. 

I remember, as a twenty-one year old English major, arrogant in my youthful achievement, sitting through the speeches by the non-traditional, or FOCUS students, as they were called at my college. I remember thinking "oh just get on with it, so we can get to the real students." I look back ashamed at my prideful ignorance. However hard one might work to earn a degree as a traditional student (and I know some who worked really hard, though not I), it is nothing compared to the effort it takes to earn a degree while living a full life and maintaining real responsibilities.
I have now watched two dear women walk across a stage,
and I have cheered
 knowing that their degrees were earned while mine was only received.

Read It with a Box of Tissues

and a pen and a journal. Just read it.

I'm recommending the new book (release date August 20, 2019) Shades of Light by Sharon Garlough Brown to everyone I know. I really hope that you'll read it, especially if, like me, you journey through life with depression or anxiety. Or if also like me, you encounter and want to encourage those who do. If you counsel pastorally or professionally or as a friend. If you long to grow in your understanding and love of our precious Lord Jesus Christ. If you ache for hope. 

Several times while reading this novel, I sat back and sighed with relief and hope. Remembering and realizing that Jesus knows my suffering and calls me to share in His. I heard His voice. I felt His Spirit.

Here's my official review: 

Once again, Sharon Garlough Brown has beautifully woven together story and practicality. Through entering into Wren’s story, we encounter the everyday realities of living with depression and anxiety. And we learn how to persevere through the journeys and wisdom of the other characters who speak into her life. Brown uses the characters to speak real truth into the lives of her readers, to counter the lies they’ve heard and believed, to point them to the Scripture that heals.  I recommend this book to anyone in ministry. To anyone is struggles with mental illness or loves someone who does. I plan to make my perfect pre-release copy of this book a dog-eared, highlighted, coffee-stained companion on my own journey into His Kingdom of Light.

Here's a link so you can pre-order your own copy. https://www.ivpress.com/shades-of-light. Releases August 20!!

https://www.ivpress.com/shades-of-light

Unblinded Faith by Elisa Pulliam

My friend Rebecca says my spiritual gift is connecting people with resources. I'm so thankful for her affirming and challenging words!

To that end, I may be doing that--recommending and reviewing resources-- more often on here, and I'm starting with this 90 Day devotional, Unblinded Faith by Elisa Pulliam. I received an advanced copy as a member of the launch team.

{Brief aside here: how did I not know that these were a thing??!! I love reading and telling people about what I read, and there's actually a legitimate request for my doing just that! Love it!}

What first drew me to the devotional was knowing that we wouldn't be reading just a single verse and then suppositions. Elisa's devotionals include a passage of Scripture, giving the necessary context and weight to each verse. And after a bit of her own personal reflection on that passage, she encourages her readers to seek God and His truth in their own lives with prayerful responses and penetrating reflection questions.

This book releases soon and will be available on Amazon, Christianbook.com, and Barnes&Noble.com. I've also heard it will be at Sam's Club! If you're looking for something to reestablish you in the basic truths of Christ as well as push you further as you walk out those truths in daily life, I encourage you to get a copy of Unblinded Faith.

I want to be an April Snow

As I wash the dishes on a Sunday in mid-April, I watch the snowflakes spin and swirl outside the window above the sink. Snowflakes in April? Almost 30 days since the "official" start of spring, and we're staring down another winter storm, less than a handful of mild days attesting to the season. My social media feed and face-to-face conversations have been full of disgust with the weather.

And yet, as I gaze at the perfect white falling flakes, I imagine a different feeling. If this were Christmas Eve, for instance, everyone would be staring out decorated and lighted windows with hope and comfort watching the snow fall, humming "I'm dreaming of a white Christmas." This is the same stuff that is prayed for in holiday movies and considered a "miracle" when it falls in such unlikely places as L.A. or Georgia. But not today, in Illinois, in April, weeks after having celebrated Easter.

The scene is the same. The snow falling, beautiful, intricate one-of-kind, awe-inspiring flakes of water. It's our attitude that has changed. But still the beauty accumulates, with no regard to its bitter, unwelcome reception. Still it dances and alights, unaffected by the lack of appreciation. And I find myself wishing I could be as persistent and unconcerned as an April snow.

This morning I taught 3-5 year olds about Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. As I prepared the lesson, my thoughts focused on Martha as they usually do. She's been called the female equivalent of Peter and is often used as the "don't be like" example in stories. In John 11:27, her bold declaration of belief in Jesus' true identity as the Messiah reveals her deep faith and courage.

She said to him, “Yes, Lord; I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who is coming into the world.”

But just a few minutes later, she also reveals a deeply entrenched habit of people-pleasing. Jesus asks that the tomb be open, and Martha hesitates, thinking how a 4 day old corpse will smell. I can practically hear the question resounding in her head "What will people think?" Many Scripture readers and teachers jump on this as an indication that maybe her faith isn't as strong as it seemed just moments ago while in private conversation with Jesus. Maybe she's all talk, no action. But I see me. Proclaiming God's power, praising His Son, desiring to follow Him with singular focus. That is true. That is real. And then I get up and enter the crowded day, full of past and present voices and distractions. And even without realizing it, I begin to behave habitually, according to the expectations of others, whether perceived or real. I react on auto-pilot, just as I think Martha did here. She's not suddenly renouncing her belief that Jesus has the power to resurrect her brother. She's just reacting in the flesh of the moment--"ugh, we don't open tombs, Jesus.  Messy, stinky things tombs, full of decay, better to leave that closed."

Oh, Martha, Oh, April, Jesus reminds,

“Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?”

In Philippians 3, Paul tells us that we can live different lives, giving up auto-pilot and choosing Christ!

If I want to see the glory of God, I have to open up the tomb, give Him access to the stinky mess, no matter what other people will think or say. Just like Martha agreeing to open Lazarus' tomb after 4 long days. Just like snowflakes falling onto my April crocus blooms whether they are welcome or not.

Oh God, I believe! Help my unbelief! Help me to walk in Your truth without fear of other people's opinions, trusting that Your Way is Glorious.

The Color of Compassion

I used to think of the colors of October as orange and red, gold and brown. The colors of the fading, falling autumn leaves. But during the last 20 years, the United States has adopted a positively Funny Face soundtrack of Think Pink. Assuming you've somehow missed the memo, the color pink now represents breast cancer awareness and is often accompanied by pithy slogans, my favorite being "Fight Like A Girl."

The aggressive marketing of the pink ribbon leaves the impression that there are no other October hues. But October offers a beautiful spectrum of causes in which you can invest and for which you can champion. However, as often happens, the good intentions of some (to raise money to fund crucial research into curing cancer) have turned into the money-making schemes of others (the statistics about where the money actually goes is shocking!). 

I'll lead off with the tips about investing in any cause. These were inspired by Margaret Fienberg's blog post about the Pink month which I've linked below in my listing of the colors of October.

Think Big and Think Little: 

About each cause, you can think both big (nationally or globally) and small (locally). There may be large, dedicated organizations to whom you can donate funds that go directly to research or counseling or treatment. You may also know an individual or family who could personally use your monetary gift. 

Think Creatively:

Consider other ways to give as well--volunteer time, call a hurting friend, and send a card to someone in the throes of suffering. Be a shoulder to cry on. Be eyes aware of the signs of abuse. Be a heart open to a hurting soul. Be a helping hand folding laundry or washing dishes for the exhausted cancer patient or patient mama of extra-special kiddos.

Think Critically:

Research organizations and individuals asking for money. Don't donate or purchase products thoughtlessly. The money goes somewhere, right? The question we must ask is "Where?". Honest organizations hide nothing in their financials, and you can and need to find out where your money goes because you want it all to go the Cause.

Think For Yourself:

Don't let popularity bully you. Sure everybody else might be wearing a pink bow and running in a particular race. So? You know where you are called to spend your resources whether or not you got a cute t-shirt or a bold bumper sticker to advertise the fact. If you find a good, honest organization, then share the info with others!

Now onto the color swatch of October awareness: 

Pink: Breast Cancer Awareness

Margaret Feinberg, a breast cancer fighter herself,  gives you very good reasons to stop and think before donating your green to the Pink. The tips she offers for being a wise donor and a compassionate friend protect us from being careless with our money and our attention.

http://margaretfeinberg.com/breast-cancer/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+margaretfeinberg%2FtjqW+%28MargaretFeinberg.com%29&mc_cid=11c0dc7f7e&mc_eid=2a72a4f37e

Purple: Domestic Violence Awareness 

I read this organization's blog because of the practical and knowledgeable information I glean in dealing with mental illness, trauma, and emotional hurt and healing. This is the counselor's introductory post about Domestic Violence. Regardless of your geographic location, I'm sure there's a shelter or a counseling agency willing to help you help them.

http://metropolitancounselingllc.com/2015/10/02/shining-light-in-the-darkness-of-domestic-abuse/?utm_source=Blog+Subscribers&utm_campaign=fbdadaabe3-Blog1021510_2_2015&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_46bff1fe76-fbdadaabe3-275543445

Pink/Blue: Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness

A brave friend of mine recently opened her heart on Facebook to post about her little Hannah, who turned 9 in heaven this month. Many do not feel able to be open with their grief or honest with their pain and so suffer in silence. Cassidy recommends this organization who continue to encourage her and her family they journey through grief. I know one thing that parents who've lost children have told me they want but rarely receive--the gift of someone else saying their child's name outloud. Don't be afraid to tell them you remember their little person too. 

http://nationalshare.org

Blue/Yellow: Down Syndrome Awareness

I've linked to a blog post written by Gillian Marchenko, mama to two beautiful girls with Down Syndrome. She's written numerous posts and a book about this journey, and I highly recommend them to you if you or someone you know finds yourself facing a future that includes a Down Syndrome loved one.

http://www.gillianmarchenko.com

So pick a color, pick a cause. There are perhaps other causes connected to this month as well. These are ones that have been brought to my attention by friends and women I respect. Please prayerfully consider how being aware of each of these causes might move you on to "love and good deeds" this October. Awareness does nothing if it doesn't induce us to action. May God guide and equip you. 

{As a final thought, I'd like to add how uncomfortable watching football games in October is. So few team colors actually go well with those pink accessories. What if instead, each team chose a cause that represents itself with those same colors and championed that cause year round? More awareness, more funds raised, more comfortable viewing. Just an idea. :) }

Keep On Connecting

Often "dates" with my husband consist of the hour and a half long commute to and from our sporadic training seminars, mandatory to maintain our license as a foster care family. Recently, on one such long drive, Tim asked me who has had the greatest influence on my life in the past ten years. My first response was "Midday Connection!" I discovered this noonday program I don't know how long ago and began to listen as these intelligent women discussed books, movies, music, culture, and how it all related to our relationship with our Creator God. I've attended three Midday events, I think; 2 luncheons at MBI and a creative retreat weekend. After hearing about the book God of All Comfort on the program, I began the study with friends of mine who were suffering deeply. It was a priviledge to walk that journey with them with a guide I could trust to keep us holding on to Jesus. I was able to speak with Dee Brestin at the live program luncheon. What an honor. 

I can't tell you how many times I've recommended either the program itself or a resource I've discovered through Midday. I've laughed and cried. I've argued back, standing at my kitchen sink, my hands in soapy water. But these friends, they taught me how to argue and still be friends!

This is my third attempt at writing a post dedicated to Midday Connection. My first was in the tantrum stage, and I knew it would never see the light of posting. :) My second focused on a little preaching the Holy Spirit did with my daughter and me, we both of us struggling with change and its inherent pain, discomfort and uncertainty. As I spoke the truths to her, seeking to encourage and strengthen her, the Holy Spirit turned them and shot them right back into my own aching heart. God is Good. All the Time.

He is the potter. I am the clay.

He is the garden. I am the plot.

And above all, He is the Perfectly Good God who does all His work to His glory and our good. 

I won't pretend that I'm not still angry. I find it ironic (oh as an English major I'm always afraid of using that word in the wrong way), that the program on which the leadership chose to announce the ending of Midday was the book club session where Dr. Rosalie de Rosset talked about the silencing of women. I cannot help but see the ending of Midday as just that. The silencing of a group of women who encouraged Christians to seek God while He may be found. There is nothing like this anywhere else on Moody or any other radio station. I think the leadership is wrong. But I understand that God is still in this. He will still work His perfect plan. 

I am still afraid. I love connecting people with resources to meet their needs, and Midday gave me an opportunity to expand my knowledge of such resources. A place to direct others in need. Now I feel it's on me. If I want to continue connecting others to help, then I will have to intentionally be out there discovering the resources myself. I don't know how or if I even have the time to do this. 

I am still sad. While I hear Anita's anticipation with joy and Lori's sabbatical plans of peace, while I watch God do a beautiful thing in Melinda's waiting, I still mourn the loss of a daily meeting with dear women. They don't know me, but they have become trusted friends, women who speak truth, who dare to question the status-quo, who stretch and challenge me and most of all encourage me to listen to the Voice of God.

But I know. I know that God is Good. He is the Potter. He is the Gardener. I hope to continue to follow these women in their journeys. I hope that their encouragement to us--to keep on connecting--is not in vain. We can use what we've learned to continue to reach out to others even as we grow deeper in relationship with God.

I'm ending with my favorite "change" song--"Lord, I Don't Know" by the Newsboys. I'm praying this for the people of Midday (I really am so thankful for all of them even though the three most common voices get the most recognition!) and for us the listeners as well.

http://youtu.be/JXGc2h1luyE