Live and Learn

It's only Day Two of the 2019-2020 school year, and I've already had numerous conversations with my children about passing and failing, about dropping out, about college anxieties. I have a sophomore in high school, two middle schoolers, and a 4th grader. How's that for an intense beginning? I've reassured my kids that I'm looking for their hard work, their good attitudes, their compassionate natures, and their desire to learn and grow. I used to think that a successful education meant Straight A's, honor classes and extra-curriculars, and Liberal Arts four-year college begun right after high school graduation (or maybe even during senior year). I've changed my mind. As I anticipate my kids adding to their educations in a variety of ways during and after their required school years, I'm hopeful that they will prove to be life-long learners. I came across this musing that I wrote several years ago after both my mother and my best friend graduated with their under-graduate degrees as adult professional women.  It seems a good time to share it here. No matter where we are, we can learn. Education is a gift, I tell my children. Formal education is definitely that--and a freedom here in the United States. But learning? That's work and initiative. And worth the effort with or without a diploma.

I sat in a freezing cold arena for three hours through unknown speakers and hundreds of students to watch one particular student cross the stage, wearing her black robe and obligatory mortarboard. She walked with grace and beauty and strength. She walked with a distinct combination of pride and humility. She is the non-traditional student. The business administration major who works 50+ hours per week, cares for her home, 8 year old daughter, and husband.
She answers to Nana for nine,
Mom for five,
Sister to three,
Aunt to numerous nieces and nephews,
and Friend to many.
She carries in her the teenager whose  guidance counselor told her she'd never make it in college,
to not even try.
She carries in her 30+ years of experience as a mother, a wife,
a woman who made non-existent ends meet on a regular basis.
She carries in her the employee who worked her way up from the bottom, who learned it well enough to begin teaching others.
This diploma is, frankly, inadequate.
All it states is that she's earned (through tedious night classes in subjects she'd already mastered in the real world) a Bachelor of Science degree in Business. 

I remember, as a twenty-one year old English major, arrogant in my youthful achievement, sitting through the speeches by the non-traditional, or FOCUS students, as they were called at my college. I remember thinking "oh just get on with it, so we can get to the real students." I look back ashamed at my prideful ignorance. However hard one might work to earn a degree as a traditional student (and I know some who worked really hard, though not I), it is nothing compared to the effort it takes to earn a degree while living a full life and maintaining real responsibilities.
I have now watched two dear women walk across a stage,
and I have cheered
 knowing that their degrees were earned while mine was only received.