Wednesday, October 7, 2015

The Color of Compassion

I used to think of the colors of October as orange and red, gold and brown. The colors of the fading, falling autumn leaves. But during the last 20 years, the United States has adopted a positively Funny Face soundtrack of Think Pink. Assuming you've somehow missed the memo, the color pink now represents breast cancer awareness and is often accompanied by pithy slogans, my favorite being "Fight Like A Girl."

The aggressive marketing of the pink ribbon leaves the impression that there are no other October hues. But October offers a beautiful spectrum of causes in which you can invest and for which you can champion. However, as often happens, the good intentions of some (to raise money to fund crucial research into curing cancer) have turned into the money-making schemes of others (the statistics about where the money actually goes is shocking!). 

I'll lead off with the tips about investing in any cause. These were inspired by Margaret Fienberg's blog post about the Pink month which I've linked below in my listing of the colors of October.

Think Big and Think Little
About each cause, you can think both big (nationally or globally) and small (locally). There may be large, dedicated organizations to whom you can donate funds that go directly to research or counseling or treatment. You may also know an individual or family who could personally use your monetary gift. 

Think Creatively:
Consider other ways to give as well--volunteer time, call a hurting friend, and send a card to someone in the throes of suffering. Be a shoulder to cry on. Be eyes aware of the signs of abuse. Be a heart open to a hurting soul. Be a helping hand folding laundry or washing dishes for the exhausted cancer patient or patient mama of extra-special kiddos.

Think Critically:
Research organizations and individuals asking for money. Don't donate or purchase products thoughtlessly. The money goes somewhere, right? The question we must ask is "Where?". Honest organizations hide nothing in their financials, and you can and need to find out where your money goes because you want it all to go the Cause.

Think For Yourself:
Don't let popularity bully you. Sure everybody else might be wearing a pink bow and running in a particular race. So? You know where you are called to spend your resources whether or not you got a cute t-shirt or a bold bumper sticker to advertise the fact. If you find a good, honest organization, then share the info with others!

Now onto the color swatch of October awareness: 

Pink: Breast Cancer Awareness
Margaret Feinberg, a breast cancer fighter herself,  gives you very good reasons to stop and think before donating your green to the Pink. The tips she offers for being a wise donor and a compassionate friend protect us from being careless with our money and our attention.

Purple: Domestic Violence Awareness 
I read this organization's blog because of the practical and knowledgeable information I glean in dealing with mental illness, trauma, and emotional hurt and healing. This is the counselor's introductory post about Domestic Violence. Regardless of your geographic location, I'm sure there's a shelter or a counseling agency willing to help you help them.


Pink/Blue: Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness
A brave friend of mine recently opened her heart on Facebook to post about her little Hannah, who turned 9 in heaven this month. Many do not feel able to be open with their grief or honest with their pain and so suffer in silence. Cassidy recommends this organization who continue to encourage her and her family they journey through grief. I know one thing that parents who've lost children have told me they want but rarely receive--the gift of someone else saying their child's name outloud. Don't be afraid to tell them you remember their little person too. 


Blue/Yellow: Down Syndrome Awareness
I've linked to a blog post written by Gillian Marchenko, mama to two beautiful girls with Down Syndrome. She's written numerous posts and a book about this journey, and I highly recommend them to you if you or someone you know finds yourself facing a future that includes a Down Syndrome loved one.


So pick a color, pick a cause. There are perhaps other causes connected to this month as well. These are ones that have been brought to my attention by friends and women I respect. Please prayerfully consider how being aware of each of these causes might move you on to "love and good deeds" this October. Awareness does nothing if it doesn't induce us to action. May God guide and equip you. 



{As a final thought, I'd like to add how uncomfortable watching football games in October is. So few team colors actually go well with those pink accessories. What if instead, each team chose a cause that represents itself with those same colors and championed that cause year round? More awareness, more funds raised, more comfortable viewing. Just an idea. :) }


Friday, September 18, 2015

Keep On Connecting

Often "dates" with my husband consist of the hour and a half long commute to and from our sporadic training seminars, mandatory to maintain our license as a foster care family. Recently, on one such long drive, Tim asked me who has had the greatest influence on my life in the past ten years. My first response was "Midday Connection!" I discovered this noonday program I don't know how long ago and began to listen as these intelligent women discussed books, movies, music, culture, and how it all related to our relationship with our Creator God. I've attended three Midday events, I think; 2 luncheons at MBI and a creative retreat weekend. After hearing about the book God of All Comfort on the program, I began the study with friends of mine who were suffering deeply. It was a priviledge to walk that journey with them with a guide I could trust to keep us holding on to Jesus. I was able to speak with Dee Brestin at the live program luncheon. What an honor. 

I can't tell you how many times I've recommended either the program itself or a resource I've discovered through Midday. I've laughed and cried. I've argued back, standing at my kitchen sink, my hands in soapy water. But these friends, they taught me how to argue and still be friends!

This is my third attempt at writing a post dedicated to Midday Connection. My first was in the tantrum stage, and I knew it would never see the light of posting. :) My second focused on a little preaching the Holy Spirit did with my daughter and me, we both of us struggling with change and its inherent pain, discomfort and uncertainty. As I spoke the truths to her, seeking to encourage and strengthen her, the Holy Spirit turned them and shot them right back into my own aching heart. God is Good. All the Time.
He is the potter. I am the clay.
He is the garden. I am the plot.
And above all, He is the Perfectly Good God who does all His work to His glory and our good. 

I won't pretend that I'm not still angry. I find it ironic (oh as an English major I'm always afraid of using that word in the wrong way), that the program on which the leadership chose to announce the ending of Midday was the book club session where Dr. Rosalie de Rosset talked about the silencing of women. I cannot help but see the ending of Midday as just that. The silencing of a group of women who encouraged Christians to seek God while He may be found. There is nothing like this anywhere else on Moody or any other radio station. I think the leadership is wrong. But I understand that God is still in this. He will still work His perfect plan. 

I am still afraid. I love connecting people with resources to meet their needs, and Midday gave me an opportunity to expand my knowledge of such resources. A place to direct others in need. Now I feel it's on me. If I want to continue connecting others to help, then I will have to intentionally be out there discovering the resources myself. I don't know how or if I even have the time to do this. 

I am still sad. While I hear Anita's anticipation with joy and Lori's sabbatical plans of peace, while I watch God do a beautiful thing in Melinda's waiting, I still mourn the loss of a daily meeting with dear women. They don't know me, but they have become trusted friends, women who speak truth, who dare to question the status-quo, who stretch and challenge me and most of all encourage me to listen to the Voice of God.

But I know. I know that God is Good. He is the Potter. He is the Gardener. I hope to continue to follow these women in their journeys. I hope that their encouragement to us--to keep on connecting--is not in vain. We can use what we've learned to continue to reach out to others even as we grow deeper in relationship with God.

I'm ending with my favorite "change" song--"Lord, I Don't Know" by the Newsboys. I'm praying this for the people of Midday (I really am so thankful for all of them even though the three most common voices get the most recognition!) and for us the listeners as well.

Friday, June 12, 2015

Dale Lewis, A Tribute

My world is enclosed by people of whose love I am convinced. There are family members whom I often take for granted. Friends from high school and college, teachers and mentors. Daily friends from current life and keep-in-touch friends from seasons past. Regardless of the frequency of contact between us, I draw support from each person just because I know they exist, and I know they either love me or like me or both. It is as if I am surrounded by light, hope in the darkness of my self-criticsm. On June 11th, one of those lights went out. I didn't even realize how much I appreciated and relied on his encouragement until I learned of his death. Dale Lewis, from seasons past my yearbook advisor and mentor. A few years ago reconnected at a 10 year reunion/homecoming weekend. Most recently, a Facebook friend. Irregular contact, occasional posts and "likes" and annual birthday wishes. But despite the infrequency of our interaction, his encouragement and joy remained a constant in my life. I am my own worst critic, aware of every false thought and lazily missed opportunity. If left in a world of my creating, I would dwell in hopeless murk. But these lights that glow around me, like the haze of a big city at night, these people who refuse to allow me to just be my worst but stubbornly see, coax, enjoy any good that might be in me, any talent struggling to surface. I am so grateful for those lights! And I mourn this world's loss of a man who lived a joyful life. Choosing joy over bitterness in the face of disappointment and rejection. Always loving and accepting, despite differences and failings. He chose to see others as Jesus sees them--human beings created in God's image, weak and sinful but loved by a Redeeming Creator. I think he took to heart and lived out to his best ability I Corinthians 13:7 "love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." Not a perfect person but one who trusted the Perfect Person completely and submitted himself to His perfect plan.

I sift through old photographs, seeing once familiar faces, more and more of whom are now in the Great Cloud of Witnesses. I long to join them. But I see too, many faces who are still here, running the race or lost off course. God, help me to be a light for them. Always bearing. Always believing. Always hoping. Always enduring. Choosing joy. Just like Jesus. Just like Dale.